I know that people are going to go crazy with their New Year's Resolution. I want to go ahead and give my take. For me my resolutions are more for my career related change. I am going to tap into the gifts that God has given me. I have a vision and a mission that I will accomplish. So my New Year's Resolution is to start using the gifts that God gave me to touch the world. However before the New Year gets here I am already getting my ducks in a row. I have learned that instead of talking about the changes you want to make. Start making small changes each and everyday until you reach your destination. Start with making short term goals. Let those small term goals add up to your large term goals. So start now before the new year, that way when 2015 gets here you will already be well on your way.
Ok I try to stay away from political debates but this is not the time to be silent. I am outraged. I am not outraged at the events themselves. Let's face it racism is and will always be apart of American culture. It will be in place so that those in power can stay in power. I am so over people of color wanting to be mad and do marches. I understand that back in Martin Luther King Jr's day they were effective. It is 2014 now. We have to have more action than non-action. We have to stir up a reaction. Not saying a civil war (but if things do not change and dramatically, it will come to be) but demonstrations that will make people wake up and pay attention. The idea always gets thrown out there to only support businesses owned by people of color. How long does that last? Does it even get lifted off the ground? We hear that we need to dress better as a community. I will wait for that to start. We talk about uplifting and building up our community. When did THOT become a real word? Why is it acceptable to be called that? What happened to our morals and values? We use to value education, family, religion, and respect. It seems like these days hate is becoming more acceptable than love. We need to quite being outraged, and upset about things effecting the community that we do to ourselves. I am all for unity and coming together, however it all starts with self and our own homes. We have got to stop teaching our children how to twerk. Twerking is not a skill unless you are a stripper. Having swag will not pay your bills. Being a gangster will place a target on your back. Wearing your pants so low your underwear shows is not attractive or sexy. It makes you look like you forget your belt and in desperate need of some help. Going to the club every weekend is not grown nor sexy. Your child is somewhere missing you and calling someones else mommy or daddy. Being a single parent is not the shit. That shit is difficult so don't add to it because you are a baby mama or baby daddy. Posting pictures of money but you stay at home at your mother's house, riding the bus, and work at McDonalds does not make you a baller. People, my people, we have got to do better. Yes, what happened in Fergurson is a tragedy, just like Trayvon Martin (bet some of y'all already forgot about him), but if we do not address the issue (do not say white people) then we will never change. We overcame slavery because we were willing to work together and fight for the betterment of our community. We fell apart because we became greedy and independent . It takes a village. We forgot that. We started looking out for number one. We forgot looking out for ourselves will keep us by ourselves. So people yes let's be mad, yes let us be upset. Let us never grow accustomed to the injustices of this world. However let us no longer be silent. No longer let us be still. No longer let us blame others for our lack. So start today to make a difference. Start today making a change.
To continue from my last post about my new perspective of life: Today I made it to church. That was much needed to my spirit. I haven't been to god's house in what seems like forever. So today got my spirit fed. Our youth pastor preached the In light of recent events (the events happening in Ferguson) he talked about: SAY SOMETHING. Meaning that we have got to learn to stand up for ourselves and not to be taken for granted. I was like, "Man he is speaking my thoughts." I was just thinking to myself and saying to people his exact sermon. I had to get my notes. I want to be accurate in my information. Can't have someone misquote or take me out of context. The text came from Isaiah 62:1-9. Something he said that spoke to me was this, "Our struggle can sometimes steal our voice." That is so my truth. During this time of my pain and my hurt I was not trying to be there for someone else. I was focusing on me. I was being selfish. Not to say that we cannot take care of ourselves. But instead of allowing people to help me to get better I shut myself off tow the world. I was starting to go down a black hole. This sermon was God telling me you still have to be my servant. You still have to show people your faith. You still have to let me use you as my lamp. I almost forgot that my life as a child of God is not always going to be easy. There are going to storms that make you question everything. You may want to yell out, what you have to say may not be nice. It is however important to be heard. We are in a state now that our country is in an uproar. Things we use to sweep under the rug are coming to the fore front. Our old skeletons have come back to haunt us and we are now open to the injustices and are able to say and do something. We have to come together as a church community and speak God's word and do God's will. So I am not going to be silent any longer. I am not going to be defeated anymore. I am going to speak up and be heard.
This man shown above is my grandfather. He recently passed (11/18/2014) and it has been difficult to deal with. This man has been my rock, support, friend, disciplinarian, comfort, and so much more. It has taken me a long few days to be able to sit and write my thoughts. Everyone keeps asking me: "How do you feel?" Well you asked the question so here is the answer. I feel nothing. I have lost both my grandmothers, and my grandfather I never knew. So losing my last living grandparent has me feeling numb. I realize that when I find a husband, and we have kids, they will never know my foundations. They will not get the discipline and love I received. They will not be able to create their own memories. I will have to rely on pictures, and my own thoughts (which at times are faded). I feel lost. As I was going through this rough time in my life, people who I normally depend on, people who say they are there, dropped the ball. I was left feeling alone. left feeling like my feelings only matter when I am at my best or on my A game. My family looking for me to be strong. To show them what Christianity means. The whole time I am like, I just want to cry. I just to lock myself into my room, never to come out. That lasted only for a moment. The initial shock wore off and I was like I can't let them see me down. I can't let them see me cry. I have to put on a brave face, put on a smile, put on my big girl pants and move forward. Life moves forward. Life moves on. I cannot afford to allow misery, depression, unhappiness, and any other negative feelings get me down or out of character. The devil already makes my job difficult and causes me to stress. This was the icing on the cake, the last straw. Now after my grandfathers funeral I have found a new perspective. I found out that I have to live my life the way that I want in a way that will make me happy. I have to make sure that my actions are that of Christ so that he is glorified. I have to be aware of other people's influences on my life. I am so kind and loyal but others take me for granted and do not always return the loyalty. I have to follow my dreams and not wait for someone else or to have fear. My eyes have been opened to a vision that I may not have seen otherwise. You have to sometimes look at situations through God's eyes and what I have seen is a brighter future. Now as 2015 is approaching, it is time for me to lay the ground work and foundation. This Thanksgiving break, my grandfathers funeral was a blessing in disguise.
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